Sunday, June 10, 2018

Purging

One of my friends, Jenny, is in the process of moving from one home to another and while packing for the move, she is getting rid of some of her belongings.

While embarking on this journey, she also has been posting her progress on Facebook. Her new place is larger than the one she is in now. She had some money set aside, so she was able to buy a patio set, a new bed, a couch and a fridge (because the new place doesn't come with one) and had them delivered.

On Friday, June 8, she posted she was going to relax that night because the next two nights were going to be a free-for-all dedicated to more moving, prepping and reducing her footprint. The final day for that goal is June 13 when she starts living in her new home.

The morning of Saturday, June 9, she posted the meme below.

On Sunday, June 10, she posted: "Back at it... I have way too much crap. Note to self... do not repeat the old way of deciding what to keep. Ugh..."

Friends responded. They offered words of encouragement. One gave advice on what worked for her, such as if you haven't used something in two years, get rid of it; keep it if it is of sentimental value or an heirloom. Others noted they need to do the same thing and if Jenny discovered the secret to purging during her adventure, to please post the secret. :-)

One friend, Richelle, noted that when we were younger, it was all about more, more, more; better stuff and new stuff. But, at our age (we are in our 60s), less is so much simpler and freeing. She wrote she is going to tackle her garage this summer that is full of storage, including probably every greeting card given to her daughters as they were growing up. 

Another friend, Leslie, agreed and wrote "As we age, our priorities change. I know I have learned (maybe still learning) that I don't need those shiny things to make me happy." And, she wrote she promised herself she would never leave the mess her parents left her and her siblings to sort out, writing "But if I don't clean out, I'm on my way to doing just that."

All of this got me to thinking. Why do we hang on to so many material items?

Mark Banschick, M.D., writes on the "Psychology Today" website: "The answer is complicated because there are so many different kinds of stuff and there are so many different kinds of people. No two individuals are alike. No situations are alike. Each is unique in their environment, and although you may empathize, you cannot compare your situation to theirs, nor can you judge them."

Hmmmm. I never thought of it that way.

He notes some of the reasons people can't get rid of stuff: If it is out of sight, it is out of mind; we may need it one day; we can't waste things; someone else may need it one day; items have sentimental value; we are overwhelmed; we are unable to bite off small pieces to downsize; or we don't know where to start.

How many of these reasons are you guilty of? For me, it has been all of them at one time or another. 

Moving by itself can be intimidating, let alone trying to get rid of things at the same time. I remember one time when daughter Stephanie was going to move. She looked around at all of her belongings and froze. She was overwhelmed and didn't know where to start. I told her to get a box and start in the bathroom because it was a smaller room. Pick up one item at a time and put it in the box until it is full. Then, after the bathroom, move to another room. Family and friends helped, but that initial start can be frightening.

Oops! I'm getting sidetracked. This blog post is supposed to be about getting rid of "stuff." I should change my middle name. Just call me Nancy Sidetracking Edwards. :-) 

My husband and I have been in our current home for 25 years. In that 25 years, we have  had four garage sales. We have taken several van loads full to Goodwill. 

After my dad and stepmom died, we brought a lot of their belongings home with us -- and gave a lot away to family and friends. In the beginning, it was difficult to get rid of their belongings because of the memories. Eventually, we had to decide what was "necessary" to keep.

I have a cedar chest full of pictures in frames I still need to go through. Earlier this year, I finally shredded tons of paperwork dating back 15 years -- some even longer. Why was I hanging on to my parents' instruction manuals for the heat pump, sprinkler system, washer and dryer, and more? Was it sentimental? If I got rid of the papers and other stuff, did I think I was erasing their memories? Honestly, I haven't a clue. Once I got rid of the paperwork, I didn't feel like I was erasing their memories. <3

These days, we don't have garage sales. But, as I go through the kitchen cupboards pulling out whatever dishes, cooking apparatus, utensils, etc., we don't use anymore; the closet or any other area in the house, the clothing and all the other stuff has to go somewhere. So, we give it away. We put stuff at the end of the driveway with a free sign. Admittedly, some items, such as power tools (when switching from gas to battery power) we have sold, but in the future, who knows, they may sit at the end of the driveway with a free sign, too.

As for Jenny, well, she is progressing, and by the time she settles in her new place, I am positive, she, too, will feel "less is simpler and more freeing"

 

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